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January 3
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:iconpahein:
One of my favorite fairy tales, as a comic rendered by me. I highly suggest downloading it for ease of reading; it was designed with the iconostasis of a two-page spread in mind, especially the first two pages...

The story can be found here; it's a Russian fairy tale also known as the Tsarista Harpist. In the original tale, it's supposed to be a gusli. Beats me how you'd carry those things around easy, so a lute it was for my comic.

This was a final project for a super-cool class I took this term; interestingly, it dealt with examination of the mediums of communication-- particularly the history of the codex and calligraphy/typography. Among the many wonderful things this class presented was the opportunity to meet Joe Sacco, and see some of his original, full-size artwork from Safe Area Gorazde. Quite a treat!

Naturally, given the option, I'd choose making comics and art over writing a paper, so that's what I did.

The only scanner I could find at school was this.... high-resolution, text-scanning picture machine for scanning books at the library? Normally I'd rather have this with better scans from a flatbed, but as the comic is currently in the care of my teachers for grading... I will update it when I can.


A few questions for readers!

1. Does the use of color seem an appropriate choice for the narrative? That is, does the full color/black gutter vs the sepia/white gutter work well?

2. Is the ending a good surprise, or did you guess 'the reveal' earlier?

3. Did you like it? Did my rendition add to the story in a good way-- or, if you didn't like it, did it detract from the story in a bad way?
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:iconrebeccannoying:
~Rebeccannoying Jan 15, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Wow, how long did this take?? I lack the dedication necessary to finish such an involved project D:

As a side note, I thought Augustine was a guy until the last panel where she kisses the king. I was very, very confused for a moment there xDDDD
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:iconpahein:
~pahein Jan 16, 2013  Student General Artist
It was a final project. I had the idea beforehand, spent a couple days planning while I worked on other final projects due before this deadline, and then spent about 2-3 days just working on this guy, I believe. Coloring is pretty but time consuming.

Haaaah. I haven't heard that response before! I did want to add a finishing panel / end page but in the end I ran out of time. It would've been Augustine playin' the lute in a garden or something in her royal dress. But such is life. I'm glad that the reveal is a surprise for most people, though. :aww:
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:iconrebeccannoying:
~Rebeccannoying Jan 16, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Lol, I always get too carried away with mine, plus I draw so slooooooow. I have two story lines I'm working on, although I have this bad habit of thinking up beginnings and endings with no substantial middle. I also suck at backgrounds, which ruins the aesthetic of the page.

Was the gender surprise intentional? Reading through it again, I noticed you used no pronouns. Also, what happened to the poor queen? D:
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:iconpahein:
~pahein Jan 16, 2013  Student General Artist
You'd be surprised how little backgrounds need to feature in a scene. A lot of comics forgo backgrounds for a 'horizon line', though that may be a different sort of comic than what you're thinking of.

spoilers: augustine IS the queen, ehehehe
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:iconrebeccannoying:
~Rebeccannoying Jan 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Well, basic scenery like grass and the sky is enough to throw me off xD

and omg, I'm such a derp :P Now that you point it out, that makes perfect sense xD
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:iconrethy:
That was very nice! I don't recall reading about this particular fairy tale ever, so it was a double treat.

The colours and their use to divide sections of the story were great! However, the long black-bordered section that crosses between the first two pages looks a little muddier than the rest of the pages. I think in the first panel it might have been better to make Augustine's clothes green to stand out more, and to have the walls a different colour than that purple, which blended in with the combination of red and brown around it. In the second panel, the black background brought down the colour, in which I assume was supposed to be vibrant and expressive, quite a bit. Though I know with traditional art the scanner and monitor can really change how the colours appear, and it's not like they can be changed anyways.

Augustine's identity did not come to me before page eight, and I haven't been surprised by a "really is a girl" twist in a while, so mission accomplished! If you really wanted to make sure not a single person made it to the end not knowing the truth, you may want to hide more of that curly hair under the hood in that close-up, but it does blend into the hood well enough, and it's good foreshadowing and a reward for the observant. I think it added quite a bit to the story, and you were clever in handling it.

The writing did not quite flow in some places, but those instances grew far less frequent as the story went on. Now I'm no writer, but they mostly seemed to revolve around the subject. {For example: on the page with the queen reviewing the letter, the text opening with "The letter" is a bit confusing, because it directly follows a bit about the child lute player.} On the other hand, there are parts where a pronoun could be used. {For example: on the first page you have "Augustine was born. - Augustine loved"} I get the need to avoid gender-specific pronouns in half the narration, but using a variety of improper nouns like "the child" and say, "the young entertainer" could help break it up a little more, or even finding a way to combine and manipulate the sentences so that Augustine wasn't the subject at all could work.
Always remember to read your scripts out loud to yourself to make sure they sound 100% right. I often don't do this, and I am a worse human being for it.

It reminded me a lot like the kind of stories to be found in Flight books: [link](comics)
They are very much worth looking into, both to study as a comic maker and artist and to just plain read and appreciate.
If you have a book store with a graphic novel collection worth its salt go in, take a look, and read a story or two.
I will recommend going in and reading The Changeling for Volume 5, Onere and Piccola from Volume 7, Riddle from Volume 8, and The Clockmaker's Daughter, also in Volume 8 (Actually just after Riddle!). The plots of those four stories are a little bit more fantastical than the Lute Player's, but the story, setting and art all share a sort aesthetic with your comic here.

So yeah. Keep making comics, because comics are great and you are great. :iconwinkingplz:
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:iconpahein:
~pahein Jan 21, 2013  Student General Artist
Every time I come to dA and see this here I just get intimidated to reply because it's such a great comment and waaaah thank you very much. It's really hard to get good commentary sometimes, especially on longer works.

Yeah. The writing was... not very good. At least not when I had to refer to Augustine without using pronouns, while sounding like the rest of the writing, because that is possibly the hardest task to give to a writer ever. Or, maybe, an artist. It's-- augh, it's just not fun, I'll say that much. You're right though, some creative description would have been very useful. I can't imagine why I didn't do that other than I didn't think of it. >w>

Oh man, more comics to buy? Well, I'll keep a lookout. >w< As much as I love printed comics, it's really an expensive pursuit of time compared to some of my other reading material (i.e., the internet and old ratty classics for dirt cheap).

Angain, thank you sooooo much!
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:iconrethy:
You're welcome! I love comics and I love talking about comics, so I'm glad that me being a massive nerd about it was useful.

Yeah, anything in full colour is going to be really expensive. I actually had to get the entire series of installments from several visits to the United States over the course of a year because they were even more expensive in Canada. That's why I recommended a couple of specific stories that could be read in five minutes at the bookstore.
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